You know, I was a man with everything, I had it all. Things are different now. Let me start from the beginning.

 

June 18th, 2002. That's the day we met...well, night actually. What a fantastic time we had. The air was perfect. Katy was breathtaking. I had read stories about “love at first sight” but never actually thought it could be true in real life. Thought it was “movie magic”. How could anyone possibly fall in love in just a brief second? Well, now I'm living proof, ‘cause it happened. I spent 4 incredible hours with her that night. Had I known that I only had 358 more days with her, I would have spent more.

 

The next day I had to see her again. She was intoxicating. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and she had an even more amazing person trapped inside her. I made it my personal goal to unlock the amazing person inside her, that she was holding back. And let me talk about that smile. Never mind that, if you have ever met her...you know what I mean. No smile on Earth could top it. I spent the rest of June entranced by her. I had to see her every day. I feel better about myself because of her, I'm a better man because of her. I guess she unlocked a part of me too. I was able to give myself to someone unconditionally and completely to someone who wanted and needed it.

 

In July, I was going to take a well deserved vacation. But there was no way I was leaving town without Katy. Even though I hadn't known her that long, I couldn't stand the thought of being without her. So I asked her to come with me.

 

Virginia Beach, can you believe it rained every day? It's been said “it can't rain all the time.” And that's so true, because no matter how dark things got, with Katy I always had sunshine. I knew I wanted this to last forever.

 

On August 5th, 2002, I asked her to be my wife. She said yes, (actually it was more like I'd love to) I had never been happier.   At this time in our relationship, I'll admit, I was still a bit scared of her parents. Not ‘cause they are scary people, the opposite in fact. It's just because I didn't know them well.

 

Katy wasted no time, after her acceptance, she went straight upstairs and started planning with her mom, even picked a date. That girl sure knew what she wanted.

 

Shortly after our engagement, we celebrated her 21st birthday. She had mentioned to many of her friends she wanted to go out and get drunk. Of course, she confided in me, she would have much rather just spent time with the 3 people she loved most. Her parents and me. So, that's what she got (she always got what she wanted). So in her eyes, her 21st birthday was perfect. Just as perfect as she was in my eyes. Every day with her, was better and better.

 

October 1st, we got an apartment together. I will admit, I was a bit scared at first. I had never, lived with a woman before. And I had no clue what it would be like. But to my pleasant surprise, it was much better than I could have imagined. There was one week (Halloween week) that wasn't so great, we almost broke up. But we both agreed that that week was an anomaly and she must have been abducted by UFOs or something. So we put it behind us, like it never happened. We moved on. Right around that time we added a new member to our family. Kylie the cat. Now, anyone familiar with the kitty, you're probably saying “Kylie is a strange name for a boy cat.” Yes, it was, but when we first got him, the vet told us “he” was a “she”. Luckily for him, he was renamed “Loki” which to a kitty sounds similar to Kylie. So he actually responds to that now.

 

Now, lemme talk about her parents real quick. I mentioned I was a bit scared when I first met them. But to be honest, they are two of the most incredible people you will ever meet. I now understand why Katy was so “perfect”. She had two great leaders, two great role models, two great...well, parents. Speaking of parents, shortly after our engagement, my dad called me for the first time in my life. Had Katy never loved me, that would never have happened. Her love, our promise to wed, brought my dad back into my life. I told you she was great right?

 

Anyway, I now got to experience things from a new perspective. I mean when someone actually makes you happy, you just see things differently. It's like being blind for all your life, then all the sudden having perfect vision. I finally saw things clearly. I knew what love was. I knew what friendship meant. I knew what family was all about. Previously, I had only “thought” I knew. Now it was all confirmed. I knew life was great, I loved being a part of life. I'm glad she was a part of mine.

 

We brought in the New Year together. I knew then that every day was going to be great, with Katy by my side. My New Year's resolution? To do my best everyday to make Katy smile. I did that. Every day. Even when I did something stupid and she got mad at me, we would talk about it. Or she would talk, and I would agree. But we always resolved our problems. And I still made her smile. I just wanted her to have everything she wanted. I always put her before me. I wanted her to be happy.

 

May 20th, 2003. The happiest day of my life. While holding Katy's hand and looking at the little black and white screen, we listened to the heartbeat of our baby girl. Alyssa-Kaye, I tried to hide the moist droplets streaming down my face...ok I was crying, but I was so happy. Not only was I going to have the perfect wife, but the perfect daughter as well.

 

June 12th, 2003. What can I say about it. It was such a good day, but at the same time, the worst day of my life. While sitting with our Pastor, we read wedding vows to each other. Kind of a little “which one will we use in our wedding” thing. He even made us re-read a few parts, just so we understood exactly what kind of commitment we were making. Later that evening, we both laid on the floor, taking turns listening to Alyssa's heartbeat with a fetal heart monitor Katy had borrowed from a friend. We decided we would go buy our own, so we could do this every night.

 

The last 3 words Katy spoke on this Earth were “I love you.” I'm fortunate enough to have had those words directed at me. The last thing she heard was “I love you too, baby doll” coming from me. She knew she was loved. The last thing I saw on her face was a smile...if you knew her at all, you know the one I mean. That smile was enough to last me an entire lifetime. And even though she is no longer here, I don’t regret the time I had with her. It was well spent. We spent every day for what it was. She never had to guess how I felt about her. I told her and showed her each day for nearly the year we knew each other. She did the same for me. I knew how she felt. I knew she was happy. I did well. I know even now, as I'm typing this, she's smiling down on me. I know in my heart, she's looking over all of us. Watching over us, until we get to be with her again.

 

She was everything to me. She was my love. She was my world. She was Kathleen Elizabeth Rocklin. She was my best friend.